Randomosity

I would rather be fighting a giant scorpion with a shell of titanium with only a rusty spoon and a hairbruh for weapons, then have to write a film review or even make an attempt to write my history paper.

I would rather be holding out my hands to have my archenemy, the Green Power Ranger, give me paper cuts then write anything for my history class.

I would rather endure Britney Spears and Fed-Ex's mockery of a reality show "Chaotic" than have to sit this desk any longer.

I would rather do a combination of those above things: fight a scorpion while covered in papercuts and having in-ear pieces that play the audio track from Chaotic on repeat, then have to do homework right now.

It's been four or five months since I wrote an academic paper. Where in the world is my mind? I honestly don't know but I am sure that it's not in my head right now. It's probably off in Jamaica playing limbo with really hot and drunken college chicks, or something. So if anybody does see my useless brain, tell it to stay there. I don't need it. Without it, I am reduced to sleep and that's not something worth complaining about.

In recent news, I went to see Aerosmith for free. Was it worth it? Probably. The ride home was terrible as there was NO ONE whatsoever to direct traffic. So cars crammed into lanes and I just wanted to slash tires. Who the fuck tried to have four lanes merge into one via a corner turn? Ridiculous. Oh, but Steven Tyler was charismatic. I still wonder how his sperm produced Liv Tyler.

I think I'm also developing a taste for beer. I say that because I keep wishing I were at a pub, drinking the afternoon away. And if that isn't a sad outlook on life, I don't know what is. Perhaps if I were to sob into my beer and mutter, "Death, you are my bitch lover!"

I also still don't know what to with my life post-graduation. I'm beginning to think I should have a suggestion box. So please, email me with suggestions. As of June 2007, I will have a bachelor's degree in Sociology and a minor in history. I can also describe to you in full detail of all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Count 'em, SEVEN. Full detail. And if you're sick of me speaking in English, I'll talk to you in Spanish, Vietnamese, and by then, hopefully, Portuguese.

I miss Gang of Four. "Love will get you like a case of Anthrax, and that's something I don't want to catch."