Monday, May 19, 2008

Stuck in the rabbit's hole

Loneliness comes in such a revolting form. The Boy has moved two hours away and the best buddy might move many hours north. And I sit here in constant wait for what I plan to do next but time has me on standstill, saying that there is more ticking of the hour before I can stop forward. Tick tock indeed. I know that I can easily throw myself into work for financial preparation, but for what? What meaning am I trying to derive from this back break? What satisfaction am I trying to achieve? I say "Public Health" and I'm really hoping that I'm spewing honesty and not some sacrificial lamb crap to appease strangers and their judgmental glares.

And oh my, nothing else could have been done
She made her life a lie so
She might never have to know anyone
Made her life the lie, you know

You know, you know, oh, how you know. Oh, Elliott, how you still ring true in my ears after so many years. And you're still waiting for happiness for me and you, aren't you? I'm striving for that change in me that will bring about the change in all because Gandhi wasn't just a dreamer, he was living inspiration. So let's circle back to my original thought: Loneliness comes in such a revolting form because I'm kept company by words of the great late dead.

What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me

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