Sunday, April 26, 2009

Babe, I've got you

God bless the new stalker tendencies of Facebook. I just discovered that my friend of a friend is expecting his first kid. And our mutual friend? He's going to be a Dad in a few months as well. I'm not a big fan of my current stage in life as people keep getting knocked up (outside of my workplace, that is) or getting married. A person truly enters their mid 20 when wedding invitations are followed by baby shower invitations. It's really scary. And pessimistic.

It's almost inspiration for me to settle down--HA!--but then I remember how much I don't like children, marriage, or first dates. All of which I would need to do if I want to play wifey. Sometimes, I feel left behind in this rat race: find the one, tie the knot, buy the house, have the kids, etc. I'm huffing and puffing as I try to accomplish the first leg of the race while others are strolling towards the finish line. Is that fair? No. But I never assumed it would be. And I understand that completely. Perspective. I'm a big fan of it. I'm sure my married/soon to be married friends will tell me that life is just as difficult for them and I'd agree. Different priorities, different responsibilities.

At the brittle age of 24, I've decided that I don't want to get married or have kids, which kinda knocks me off of the True Blue stage. I think if I also said I was gay, I would totally go against the grain of all things "expected." (But that's a whole different subject for another day.) Children are an obstacle to impromptu vacations and keeping odd sleeping hours. And those happen to be two things I value in life. Again with the perspective, okay? As for marriage, I channel Debbie Downer. It's a legal facade for two people as the only good thing I see from "marriage" is the tax break. Good-bye single filing, hello joint filing and bigger tax refunds. It's all so pomp and circumstance with the ceremony, reception, planning, and outfits. Ideally, I'd find the One and we'll leave it at that. The End.

5 Things I would use my kid for and/or 5 Reasons I wouldn't be a good parent:
1. Panhandling to help out their unemployed/lazy mom
2. Loaning my kid to my single, desperate friends who need help picking up girls
3. Human sacrifice, in case kittens just won't sate the Great Demon Lord
4. An organ bank for when my own organs start to break down
5. Coasters, because someone has to keep those coffee tables stain-free.

1 comment:

crux said...

I realize that nobody blogs anymore and then I remember that you still do. And I'm glad. One of my closest friends from college is a mom and has become all domestic and all that. Whereas I'm the same with you - no marriage, no kids, or all that everyone wants one day.